Managing Your Boss

Writen by Dale Kurow

How good is your relationship with your boss? If you're asking yourself "what relationship?" then read on.

• What baggage are you bringing into the relationship? Do you see your boss as an authority figure (a k a your father or your mother)? Ask a trusted colleague if you overreacted to the latest run-in with your boss. Be open to hearing honest feedback.
• You and your needs are a fraction of your boss's responsibility. Stop taking your boss's behavior personally. She/he probably spends little time thinking about your problem or concern. If you can learn to become immune to your boss's minor slights, which are often a product of his/her stress, you will be happier.
• Put yourself in your boss's shoes. Let that perspective guide you. If you were the boss, you'd want your employees to come to you with solutions, suggestions, ideas and ways of elevating your profile within the organization. Are you doing this with your current boss?
• How many bosses have you had in the last 1-2 years? Do you resent having to prove yourself yet again? Get over it. Rapid management changes are the norm. The sooner your new boss knows you're on his/her side, the better.
• Do you understand your boss's communication style? Does your boss want just the facts? Or does he/she enjoy a more collaborative style and like brainstorming and discussion? When is the best time to speak with your boss; is he/she a morning person or is after 5 PM better? You need to know how to read your boss or all your good work will fall upon deaf ears.
• With a new boss, make it clear how you can help. Talk about how you want to ease his/her transition into the company and outline areas where you can contribute. Don't wait for your boss to come to you. You can get lost in the shuffle during the boss's learning curve.
• Ask for what you want. This goes for money, a promotion or ownership of a new project. Make sure you choose an appropriate time and have a well-prepared case. Be prepared for a no. Hope for a yes. Be willing to negotiate. Know what your fallback position is.
• Speaking of negotiating, when was the last time you negotiated with your boss? Most people run from negotiating. It's too confrontational. Did it ever occur to you that negotiating might be a strength that your boss is looking for from you? Winners know how to negotiate. It's a crucial skill to have in your toolbox. Time to swallow the anxiety and do it.
• Do you feel used, abused, and exhausted at work? What boundaries have you created with your boss? Take a look at how you might be allowing this to happen. Are you afraid to ask for what you need? Are you using work as an excuse not to deal with other aspects of your life? Blaming your boss for your inability to take charge of your life is unfair.
• Do you feel smarter than your boss? Okay, maybe you are. How are you going to use your smarts to position yourself for the next step, assuming that's what you want? And how will you do it without threatening your boss? You need to earn your boss's trust. This is a process that happens over time. And be sure to continue to monitor your need to grandstand. Arrogance is not a plus.
• Do you need to be right? Can you see your boss's point of view? Are you willing to compromise your position for the good of the boss, department, or company? Keeping the bigger picture in mind is key and shows commitment to the team. So, ask yourself "do I want to be happy/successful or do I want to be right? "

  Finally, if you truly do have an ogre for a boss, and nothing seems to work, get out! Sometimes you need a fresh start with a new boss to create the kind of work environment in which you can flourish.

  Dale Kurow, M.S., is an author and a career and executive coach in New York City. Dale works with clients across the United States and internationally helping them to become better managers, figure out their next career moves and thrive despite office politics. Visit Dale's web site at http://www.dalekurow.com/newsletter to sign-up for her free monthly e-zine "Career Essentials," chock full of useful tips and strategies you can use immediately.